Sunday, January 3, 2010

Kevin Lin -- Autobiographical Writing

I was six, and that was when I experienced my first black eye.

In preschool and kindergarten, I went to a private school located in the suburb of Hsin Chu County called the Hsin Chu International School (HIS). We had a pretty interesting playground, about the size of three basketball courts, and every day after lunch, we would have a period called “recess” where we can freely roam the yard. Like every other classmate I had, recess was probably our favorite class, and more likely, the reason why we would let our parents drag us to school. During recess, we would do all kind of things, from climbing plastic houses to crawling all over the floor. Occasionally, someone would pull on a girl’s hair and they would start chasing each other. Indeed, the day I got my first black eye, I was chasing someone else, but not because my hair got pulled or I pulled someone else’s hair, but because we boys were playing those catch-me-if-you-can games and someone just happened to be in my way.

So there we were, in the middle of the playground, playing our game. It was really fun and I managed to catch a lot of people. However, after a while, my senses seemed to slip and I became extremely useless. I was just about to quit, when suddenly out of nowhere, I saw a boy standing 10 meters away staring at me. I thought to myself, this is it! I’m finally going to catch someone again!

As excited as a mother in the clearance section, I ran full speed towards the poor little fellow. Halfway through running, I could already feel and imagine myself touching the kid. I could even see myself smiling. However, suddenly out of nowhere, Sophia, an oversized female classmate, started to run perpendicular to me without any apparent reason. Like a car crash in a four-way intersection, I was knocked down immediately and flew a few foot sideways.

Later that day, when my mother came to pick me up, I finally learned of my black eye. Apparently, the supervisors had decided not to tell me. This experience was extremely valuable to me as it was the first time I got myself hurt so badly. Also, this experience was so valuable because hopefully, that was the only time in my life where I would experience a black eye; a true black eye.

5 comments:

  1. hi Kevin :)
    I like this sentence-
    "as excited as a mother was in the clearance section, i ran full speed towards the poor little fellow". great simile, and it paints a very vivid picture.
    I think the sentence, "however, after a while, my senses seemed to slip and I became extremely useless" is abit confusing. Do you mean that you weren't able to run fast? Maybe something like "however, after a while, my legs got sore, and I felt exhausted" [idk tho :P]
    anyways great job & i really enjoy reading your essay. its rly funny :P
    -WENDY

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  2. jerry lee:
    " Like a car crash in a four-way intersection, I was knocked down immediately and flew a few foot sideways."
    good simile :) it made me laugh.
    this a good story :) makes me think of my childhood also :) good job describing our past habits and the class recess :)

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  3. "Halfway through running, I could already feel and imagine myself touching the kid. I could even see myself smiling."
    I really liked this sentence because it is a very interesting the way you organized you sentences so it builds up for the conclusion.

    "Later that day, when my mother came to pick me up, I finally learned of my black eye."
    I feel like you can connect theend to the paragraph before better

    over all it is a very well writen story
    I really liked it:D
    -Adam

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  4. I love it! A the way through reading your essay, i was really laughing out loud lol :) really realistic and funny
    I love your way of describing your own picture, it was really gripping, every single moment of your essay was imagery like, "Occasionally, someone would pull on a girl’s hair and they would start chasing each other." I love it a lot lol :)
    My favorite line is "Halfway through running, I could already feel and imagine myself touching the kid. I could even see myself smiling." It feels like that time you are really enjoying your childhood, but eventually that feeling can't last forever right? lol Jk.
    Welllll~ overall it was all good, i really enjoy reading it :)
    great job!

    - Kimi Chen

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  5. Stanley : Very Very descriptive and well written :) Your story is also extremely funny. Very nice use of literary elements such as similes for example " Like a car crash in a four-way intersection, I was knocked down immediately and flew a few foot sideways."

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