Sunday, January 3, 2010
Haley Lan - Reflective Essay
As students, we all know that school life is somewhat boring. We have to sit on the chair and listen to teachers talking about different knowledge such as the law of conservation, how Franklin D. Roosevelt used New Deal to help the U.S. get through the Great Depression...This is the reason why we all enjoy our afterschool life (other than homework, of course). Most people would go to the basketball court to play ball and for some girls, staring at those tall guys with big muscle. I like to go to the basketball court because I can play ball whenever I want to and hangout with my friends whenever I feel tired. I usually come back home at 6:00, because I have to wait for my sister for her activities. I would take a shower first so I feel ready for my homework. After dinner, I would do whatever I want, such as youtube. I really like this website because you can find tons of tons of different clips, some of them are funny, and some of them are stupid. I like my afterschool life because I feel free, but of course, school works are always the most important things to do.
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Albert Liang
ReplyDelete- "As students, we all know that school life is somewhat boring."
- The quote states something that is true of me at least, good connection.
-"I can play ball whenever I want to and hangout with my friends whenever I feel tired."
- Could limit down on the use of "I"s
I think you could limit the uses of "I" but the tone and language used is quite well written.
since albert took my quote =.=
ReplyDelete"We have to sit on the chair and listen to teachers talking about different knowledge such as the law of conservation, how Franklin D. Roosevelt used New Deal to help the U.S. get through the Great Depression.."
good job being specific. we are learning that actually :P
yes, same with albert, the use of I can be reduced. :)
overall, this is a good essay. every event you described is specific and concise. xP
jerry lee
Richard Sun
ReplyDelete"I like my afterschool life because I feel free, but of course, school works are always the most important things to do."
This quote affects a lot of us, and I think that we all need to have a balance between work in school and fun.
"Most people would go to the basketball court to play ball and for some girls, staring at those tall guys with big muscle."
It is kind of awkward here, as it might be easily misunderstood. Some people might think that people go to the basketball court for girls and balling. By splitting it up into two separate sentences, it will be clearer.
Overall, great and interesting essay as it affects all of us.
Carol Chou
ReplyDeleteFavorite Line: "Most people would go to the basketball court to play ball and for some girls, staring at those tall guys with big muscle."
I like this line because it has a little of humor in it, but hey! that's not always true for girls! :D
improvement: "I like to go to the basketball court because I can play ball whenever I want to and hangout with my friends whenever I feel tired."
how i would change it: I prefer playing going to the basketball courts because it is the place where I can hangout with my friends while having fun with my favorite sport.
Comments: Afterschool life is awesome! Make sure you enjoy everything you do afterschool. I liked your essay because it really shows you're life afterschool and how important it is to you!
"Most people would go to the basketball court to play ball and for some girls, staring at those tall guys with big muscle." IM THE GUY WITH THE BIG MUSCLES! Just kidding. Afterschool is really fun. I can relate to what you're saying after school is when we actaully get to hang out with all our friends.
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